Bad Wife
Dildos and Cough Drops

You Give Me Fever (and I give you general goofiness)

We’ve all got the sniffles here in House of the Weird. Chance is down for the count. Me and Keen have been battling it with the help of lots of lovely drugs. I was going to be extra brave and attempt a Concentrated Effort at Potty Training this long weekend. However, I suspect that might be potentially traumatizing to do to a kid when they have a fever.

Cue: big booming voices, delirium enhanced lights

“CHANCE!… pee in the potty Chance!… want an M&M*?… big boys POOP!... CHA-A-A-A-NCE!”

(*M&Ms are our potty bribe of choice. KitKats will be used as the big guns.)

True story: When I was about seven I had the flu with a fever so bad I started hallucinating. At one point I saw three images of my mom, all standing in a row by my bed, doing that wavy body distortion thing they used to do in the Pepto-Bismol commercials in the 70s. And all the while those three moms are asking me (in scary hallucino-talk), “What’s wrong honey? What’s WRONG?” That pink shit used to make me feel ill for a loooong time.

I can’t do that to my son. M&Ms should be an important part of every kid’s life. I mean, besides the fact that the training would probably be an utter failure.

(Though I am kind of hoping he feels well enough soon to at least start the potty training this weekend.)

On another note I’ve still got a couple of commenter inspired posts to finish. The following baby was from Fuzz; he suggested a chick version of Budweiser’s Real Men of Genius commercials. I was having some difficulties early on but then I saw this…

 

Baby_blues_comic_2

 
The Real Woman of Genius would also have added plexi-glass divisions to separate the children, some sort of electro-magnetic, sound muffling field, and a password-protected alarm system (for security) to access the cart. Maybe even a pellet treat dispenser for the children to nibble on while you’re oh so blissfully trying on clothes in the dressing room. Ah…

Here’s to you Ms. Inventor of the Most Perfect Shopping Cart Ever! *sniff* (It’s so beautiful!)

And for those keeping track… an update! Month one of the Great KnockUp Project was a no go.  :(  Embarking onto month two!

- the weirdgirl

Comments

Lisa

Fever breaking vibes and sugary M&M hugs headed your way!

the weirdgirl

Aww, thanks Lisa! I think the worst of the fever is over. And I started priming the M&M pump yesterday!

Riley

Interestingly, I had hallucinations from being sick once as well, but I attributed it to the NyQuil.

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