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The Big Belly of a Dream

Besides being unexpectedly busy in the work arena – which of course means less reading, less writing, and less other things I love (as compared to “rely on” (stupid paycheck)) – there is another reason why I’ve been distracted lately. Keen and I have decided to start trying for kid number two.

[sound of trumpets]

Yes, I’m totally breaking mommy blog form and I’m gonna admit to the process up front. (And I probably won’t show a picture of the positive test if and when I do turn up preggo, because, ew, I just peed on that.) I have a hard enough time keeping my mouth shut about life in general, I certainly can’t keep it closed* until the end of the first trimester, much less the whole “trying” portion.  No worries, I won’t be giving you a play by play or anything (this is a family blog) but I just know the crap, subject-wise, is gonna come up.

“Trying” also always feels to me like getting a big envelope from Publishers Clearing House reading, “You May Already Be Pregnant!” I’ve been putting off the whole second baby thing because, frankly, pregnancy sucks. I just don’t like it. I passionately don’t like it. First we sort of planned “summer time”, then that moved to “fall” and then “later fall”. I’ve been feeling really creatively productive lately and, as selfish as this might sound, I just didn’t want to give that up for vomiting and feeling slightly disabled.  (My brain gets very muddled when I’m knocked up.)  However, I AM 36, with odd hormones, so I knew it was only a matter of time.

Not to get all romantic, but I always sort of pictured my equipment down there with the eggs as ticking time bombs, and the passing years as Jack Bauer torturing my uterus for information. (Of course, Jack and my uterus dated at one time before the tragically mistaken torturing. I don’t know how that man keeps hooking up.) Except it was sort of like the last season of 24 and not the first, i.e. I was too busy folding laundry and reading blogs to pay attention all that closely. So, even though I knew I should be getting busy, I still put baby #2 off.

Then – while I’m taking drum lessons, and writing, and crafting, and living my creative life – a funny thing happened… I didn’t have a sudden overwhelming biological urge to have a child.  I wasn’t contemplating Chance having a sibling.  I didn’t see all the pregnant women around me and suddenly miss the feel of a baby. (Because remember, no matter how much I love my kid, pregnancy still sucks.) No. I had a dream I was pregnant. One of those absolutely certain, wake-up-thinking-it’s-real dreams that I was pregnant right now.  And when I awoke and realized I wasn’t pregnant I didn’t feel disappointment or even relief. I just felt resigned.  And still very certain.  That’s why I took it as a sign that it was time to get off my butt (or on, depending) and start trying.

What? Not everyone has pregnancy premonitions?**

Wish us luck!          - the weirdgirl

*Except I’m not telling the in-laws nothing, ‘cause they’ll just nag me to death.

**You know what’s really weird? My mom and another mom from my playgroup also had dreams I was pregnant, all within two weeks. And, as unbelievable as it sounds, I hadn’t even been talking about it!

Comments

Lisa

Enjoy your TTC time! And don't sweat the pregnancy too much. You may not have any of the queasiness or other problems this time around.

Chag

Good luck and remember to have fun trying!

Andrea

Woo hoo! The fun part of pregnancy is the part right before it happens. :) Good luck!

Andrea

Oh, and of course the minute the pregnancy is over and there's a baby to show for it ain't too shabby either. Maybe the second time around for you won't be as rough as the first time around.

the weirdgirl

Thank you all! Keen, especially, is looking forward to the trying part.

Charlie

Good luck with all the trying!!

croutonboy

You sound just like my wife (which is a compliment) and I completely appreciate where you're coming from. Good luck, and give Keen a high-five for me. (FYI, which sucked more...pregnancy or the last season of 24?)

Pam

WOW!! Great news. Trying is fun! I have three and never thought I'd feel "done" but now, even the baby isle at Target doesn't get my motor running, so to speak.
I'll just live vicariously through all you brave gals around the sphere who are getting knocked up.

the weirdgirl

Charlie, thanks!

CroutonBoy, that's a tough one... but I'll say 24! (OK, not really. Pregnancy sucked more... but 24 is getting REALLY close!)

Pam, thank you! And, trust me, this is the LAST one, Target baby aisle notwithstanding! (You know, if I get knocked up.)

Riley

Oh my gosh, I had a dream you were pregnant too!

(not really. i'm just trying desperately to feel like part of the story. in all seriousness, good luck! and i hope your in laws don't read your blog)

The Phoenix

It's Baby Making Time!

Dreams can be strange. Prophetic? Maybe.
Definitely linked to the subconscious, though. Allthough you weren't actively thinking about having another, deep down (real deep down) you were.

Godmother

Thinking, wishing "girl". Jasmine has too many cute cloths (mostly from you) to not use again!!!! :) Besides Goth really never goes out of style. We can cut the skull belt down to keep her diapers up!

TCOLE

Just 'found' you via KC.
You hate pregnant. I hated pregnant (3 X's!) It never got better. (sorry) First words out of my mouth when my babies were born (each time) were "OMG I am so glad to not be pregnant anymore!"

You know who Jack Bauer is. I love Jack Bauer.

Cool Blog - I'll be back!

the weirdgirl

Riley, thanks!

Phoenix, I was thinking along the same lines myself. Probably those stupid eggs doing the thinking for me.

Godmother, oh my god! I can just see that belt holding up the diapers.

TCOLE, welcome!

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