More Lying During the Holidays

I was over at Always Home and Uncool and he reminded me that it was time once again to churn out the family newsletter! Yeah, we’re one of those families… except for the small fact that I totally make mine up. I mean, I think we spend our year like most families… work, school, a vacation or two, a lot of TV. My method is just way more fun (and yes, I really do send it out). So while I’m working on this year’s edition, I thought I’d share last year’s…

Dear Friends,

We hope you and your families have had a wonderful year since last holiday season! It’s been quite exciting for the wg/Keen family this year. As many of you know we moved to a bigger house last spring, which we’ve enjoyed immensely. Even more so after we stumbled across a cache of old gold coins buried in the back yard! (I was putting in roses.)

The gold coins – Spanish in origin – came at a great time as we hadn’t had a family vacation since that whole France debacle. To commemorate the find we decided to wing down to Peru and take in some of the local Incan ruins. After hiring skilled guides, Keen, Chance and I trekked into the mountains for some camping and archeological spelunking. It was quite beautiful and the weather was perfect. None of us even got so much as a bug bite.

The only issue during our trip was Chance who, then obsessed with cats (or “kitties!”), kept wandering off into the wilderness in search of the many species of small cats native to South America. This caused us quite some concern but before we could put him on a leash (ha ha!) something happened near the end of our trip that made it even more memorable. Chance, on one of his feline quests, scaled up a cliff into a small cave. When we climbed up after him and poked our heads over the rocky edge we found Chance wrestling a giant mountain cat! We were horrified and feared for his life, but Chance had it well in hand (he’s wily like a monkey, that kid). After he subdued the great beast the guides were amazed to discover that it was not a mountain cat as we first thought… but a legendary American Cave Lion, thought previously extinct and lost to antiquity! With the guides help we managed to transport the prehistoric lion down the mountain and turned it over to the National Zoo. The Peruvian zoologists were incredibly grateful and extended an open invitation whenever we’d like to visit.

Unfortunately, our camera was accidentally mauled by the lion and we are only left with our memories of this spectacular trip.

Chance is now obsessed with bunnies.

The rest of the year has been a quiet yet treasured one spent at home. We hope you all are well and that your year has been as exciting and unforgettable. Merry Christmas and many blessings to you in the New Year!

Love always,
The wg/Keen Family

Comments

[Kim]

LOL!. Awesome.

[Kim]

LOL!. Awesome.

[Chag]

This is an excellent idea! Make me almost want to start a family newsletter just so I can create some fantastic lies!

[katie ~ motherbumper]

I think that is the first holiday letter that I have read from start to finish. Ever. It was also the first that I've read a holiday letter where I didn't roll my eyes at the end of each sentence. Well done... may I use it too? (change the names of course ;)

[foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)]

You are awesome. I'm waiting the arrival of my cousin's holiday letter, which will, as always, be riddled with spelling errors and, sadly, no mention of lions!

[the weirdgirl]

Kim - Thanks!

Chag - You should totally start one! (It's kind of a lift for the middle of the holidays.)

Katie - Feel free to use it! We should all do our part to reduce eye-rolling.

FADKOG - Ooh, will you post your cousin's letter for us?! You could change the names but leave the typos!

[Mrs C]

This is a brilliant idea. Bravo!