I must be the only person on the planet that doesn't like Bare Minerals! (It's that swirl, tap, buff, all mineral looks like bare skin makeup so pure you can sleep in it stuff, for those of you who don't know.) I've been using it about a month because I wanted to try it out (and sometimes your skin needs a while to settle into a new product) but I'm Just. Not. Happy.
First, I break out. I am cursed with cyclical zits. And Mother Nature in her great vindictiveness has decided that I, in peri-menopausal glory, will not only break out right before my period but I will also break out right after I ovulate. It's her little way of saying, "Hi, how ya doing? By the way, your eggs are getting old and if you don't get knocked up soon I WILL PUNISH YOU!" So I need a makeup that covers. Bare Minerals is not covering anything.
So I go back to the makeup counter and explain the issue and after they've stopped giving me the unbelieving googly eyes they give me another powder that should cover up the "problem areas". BTW, some of the women using this stuff at the counter looked great, and some of the other ladies, who had obvious acne or other skin issues, looked like they were wearing heavy makeup. I guess you CAN get it to cover... if you put enough on that it totally shows. And you're willing to buy it every month.
Then I go home with this other concealing powder and put it on and end up with my zits sort of covered... by blotches of makeup that are a different color from the rest of my face.
But wait, there's more! It flies everywhere, really messy, and every time a puff of powder migrates away I think "Fly free, money! Fly free!" It also, as part of the migration, gets in my hair and makes it feel funny. (My hair has sensitive feelings, you know. It doesn't like being in uncomfortable social situations.) But my favorite thing, besides the not covering, is the fact that if I do manage to cover up, say, a healing blemish this powder turns it into a dry, flaky sahara-like blemish that looks as if it might start spontaneously dandruffing on the spot.
I feel SO pretty!
On top of that, the whole marketing campaign has always kind of worked my nerves. It being SOOOOO natural and the other makeups as a bunch of chemicals is total spin. Not that Bare Minerals isn't minerals. It is. But most other makeups are also full of the same minerals. Chemicals in general are made from nature. Because we can't make up shit out of nothing, you know. When they say something is "natural", they really mean it's "not processed". Sometimes. Sometimes it's still totally processed but they call it natural anyway. And yes, chemicals are processed but that doesn't necessarily make them bad. Just like all natural products aren't always good for us. Give me some of that 100% natural arsenic! Yeah!
Interestingly, when I asked the ladies at the counter what the ingredients were they had no idea. Except for titanium. They knew it had titanium. (Yeah, you and every other makeup out there.) They also could not find the marketing materials that listed the ingredients. When I asked "Isn't it legally required that the ingredients be listed on the bottle?" again I got the unbelieving googly eyes.
I wonder what they're going to do when I return it?
OK, I'm done bitching. I'll go buy my old powder now.
- the weird needed to rant girl







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